The following letter comes from one of my readers who wishes only to be identified as “Bob”.
Dear Mr. ValleyScott,
Thank you for your blog. Reading it has been really insightful about many things. Your honesty has inspired me to want to be honest about a problem I have. Please share this on your blog if you can.
I have a confession to make. I am a “no-show”. I am the king of no-shows. I have a serious problem.
I have been hobbying for 7 years. In that time I have had 118 sessions with 56 ladies. This does not include 30 trips to AMPs. But that is not my problem. My problem is that I have also been a no-show 364 times.
Your read that right—364 times.
I am one of those guys that makes the women mad. I know it, and I am ashamed of it.
I suffer from a social-anxiety disorder. I have all my life. I was the kid in school who sat alone and didn’t talk to anyone. When I found the Internet I thought I had found salvation. I could communicate without talking to people. Texting is also great. That is how I make contact with every woman. But then I know I have to actually meet them. And 75.5% of the time I can’t do it. And that doesn’t count all the women that I started contacted and then never set a date with.
I just can’t. I make the appointment, I get in my car, and I drive to their location. And then I just drive right past. Or I park in the parking lot and just sit there. And if I can’t get the nerve to text them that I have arrived, I end up just sitting for a while before leaving. When the women text me to see where I am I just can’t respond. If I did they would realize what a coward I am.
Sometimes I can get up the nerve to go. 216 times. Most of those were just one time. And many of those sessions ended with me leaving early.
I get a lot of angry text messages and emails from women. I understand that. They are angry because I have wasted their time. I feel bad about that. But I am too scared to respond. I am too scared to tell them why. I doubt they would believe me. I doubt they would understand that I was outside their hotel, sitting in my car, shaking with fear. That I couldn’t even hold my phone because my hands are shaking too much.
The women who have met me have seen me shaking. Sometimes I can’t even get my clothes off.
A few ladies have been very kind to me. They have helped me through my anxiety and fear. I have repeated with several of them over the years. It gets easier for me when I have met a woman before. I relax a little. But I am still very anxious. Sometimes I can’t perform, even if I have been with a lady before. Some ladies take pity on my for that, but others have become tired of it. They ask me not to see them anymore.
I have never shared this with anyone before. Please don’t give out my name or email. Just call me “Bob”.
To all the ladies that I have not shown up to see:
I am so, so sorry. I am sorry that I cannot overcome my anxiety most of the time. It is not your fault. This is a real problem I have. If it wasn’t for working online I wouldn’t even be able to keep a job. But that is still no excuse for what I have done. I have wasted your time to often. It is my curse. I hope you might forgive me, but I understand if you can’t. Being a no-show is one of the worst sins a hobbyist can commit, and I am guilty of it more than anyone. I sincerely apologize to every woman out there.
Mr. ValleyScott, thank you for giving me the chance to charge my story.
I want to applaud “Bob” for being honest and confessing to his “sins” here. That cannot have been easy for him. I must admit, I am shocked that a man can no-show that many times and still keep trying.
I don’t know what causes his social anxiety issue, but it must be pretty bad. I feel sorry for him.
I will not reveal any information to anyone about “Bob”. I will respect his privacy. I do hope that others will not judge him to harshly. And I hope that he learns to cancel appointments instead of being a no-show. Thank you for sharing your story, “Bob”.
[This letter was edited for grammar and to remove certain identifying characteristics in order to protect the authors privacy.]