Patience is a virtue.
That is a very old saying. It’s based on some statements in the Bible about the importance of patience and how patience is a “fruit of the Spirit”. I know, those are odd things to begin a post with on a blog about paid sex. But we are in need of some virtue in this community.
I have written on this topic before on other websites. It is a topic that I find very important. We need patience in the CTS Community, but sadly, I am seeing a lot of impatience instead.
We live in a time of instant gratification. Want something to eat? There is always an open restaurant or grocery store. The microwave will cook that frozen dinner in 6 minutes. Too long? Premade salads–pull one out of the ‘fridge and eat.
Information is available 24/7 at your finger tips. Google will bring you information almost instantly. Television news is always on. The demand for fast news is so rabid these days that many otherwise reputable news services will publish only without fact-checking or proof-reading an article. People want things NOW!
This is unhealthy. I’m sure you’ve all seen or read plenty about how unhealthy our obsession with instant gratification is as a society. And this includes sex. In fact, the desire for instant gratification is probably a reason that some people become CTS clients in the first place. They want sex and they want it RIGHT NOW!
Patience my friends. Here are some areas that many of us (or most of–maybe even all of us) could work on:
Patience in Communication
This is big one that ticks me off a lot. People being impatient in communications. We have become addicted to instant communication. Cell phones have made us insanely impatient. We desire to be able to instant talk to whomever we want. Oddly enough though, we also can be very upset about others wanting instant communication with us.
We all need to be patient when it comes to communication. Stop expecting an immediate answer to a text you sent. Even if you just replied back right away to a text you recieved, be patient about a response. The person who texted you first might very well have been doing so while in the middle of something else. I do a lot of texting, which often means that I am sending a text just before I get in my car. But this means I won’t be texting for how ever long it takes me to get to my destination. (NEVER text and drive people! Never.)
Life is busy. For almost everyone. So be patient. Clients–remember that you are not the only client of that sex worker you want to talk to. Oh, and she also has a life. Family, school, work, etc. Maybe she isn’t texting you back because she is taking a much-needed nap.
Patience in Scheduling
As much as all of us want what we want when we want it, we need to be patient sometimes. Scheduling a session can be a real pain in the ass at times–for both parties. Both clients and sex workers need to have patience when setting up a date. Certainly it is wonderful when a client contacts a provider and requests a time that the provider has open. Everybody wins. This can happen often. But it can also not happen. I had a run of about two months last year where almost every requested time was open. Awesome. Then I went for a couple of months where I had to really work to fit into the schedules of the ladies I wanted to see. But I did get to see almost all of them. Patience.
Seriously guys, just be patient. If you really want to see her, work with her schedule. Be willing to take a later time or a different day. Maybe you have to wait a couple of weeks for that time slot you want to open up. So wait. Be patient. I know how difficult it can be to set up enough free time (and excuses, etc.) to have an opportunity to play. It is very difficult for me. But it is really worth it in the long run to be patient.
Many of the most frustrated clients I know in CTS are also the most impatient. They refuse to schedule things in advance. They do not want to bother with pre-screening. They are always trying to set-up last-minute sessions. And they often end up with nothing but PornHub to satisfy themselves with.
Take some time to schedule things. Pre-screen. Plan ahead. Be patient.
And providers, you need to be patient too. Clients can have limited windows of opportunity. Don’t get impatient with a prospective client who can’t get his or her schedule aligned with yours. Be patient. Don’t write that client off or disregard them. Don’t label them a time-waster. I have ladies that I have been in contact with for months but haven’t yet seen. My schedule just doesn’t jive with theirs. I am patient, and they should be too. Once we make it work out, I expect there will be some wonderful times–if past experience is any indicator.
Patience in a Session
Be patient in your sessions. Sometimes time is short, but make the most of it.
Clients, take your time. Don’t rush your provider. And seriously guys, schedule session lengths that are long enough so that you aren’t rushing. That’s no fun for anyone. Give yourself enough time so that you can take your time and enjoy the entire experience.
Providers, please don’t rush your clients. A session that goes over by a couple of minutes isn’t going to hurt anyone. And it leaves your clients feeling good when they are not rushed out the door. Always leave your clients wanting more–that’s how you get repeats and regulars. And give yourself enough time between clients so that you don’t have to rush. But during the session, be patient. No client likes to be rushed into the room, rushed through the session, and rushed out the door (unless that is exactly the kind of thing they do want–there are all sorts of fetishes after all!).
Be patient with eachother. Especially on a first meeting.
Patience with the Changes in CTS
Okay, we’ve all been going through all of this FOSTA-imposed upheaval together. Be patient everyone. Be patient with the new websites. Don’t give up on them after a few days. Or even weeks. It could take years for real stability to return to our community. We all need to be patient. I honestly believe that patience within the community will actually improve stability. Patience can make things happen quicker, strange as that may sound. Be patient. In all things, be patient.
It’s good for you. It’s good for all of us. After all, we could all use just a smudge of virtue! Lol.