Hate Her/Love Her

Here is an interesting question from a Hobbyist that many of us clients may have dealt with from time to time:

“Mr. Valley, I need some advice about a provider I’ve seen a few times.  Maybe you have been through this before.  See, I hate her AND I love her!  I can’t stand talking to her or hearing about all her problems or getting all these texts about her life.  But dammit, she is amazing in bed.  I can’t get enough of the sex.  She is so annoying, but also the best lover I’ve ever had.  How do I deal with this?  I just want the sex, but when she’s not f***ing me, she is f***ing talking too much!  Help me out.” — Anonymous, Denver.

Well, Mr. Denver, you’ve got a problem.  And I can’t help but laugh about it a little (no offense).

Yes, I have encountered this to some degree in the past, and I know other guys who have as well.  Sometimes a woman can be an amazing lover, but just not be someone we want to spend time with.  Usually, if we have no personal chemistry with someone, we also don’t have a lot of sexual chemistry with them either.  You situation seems to be the exception to the rule.

It loos like your provider friend feels that there is a good personal connection, considering that she is spending enough time talking to you that you are annoyed.  She is sharing herself with you on a personal level, so she obviously trusts you and likes you.  You—however—only like her sexuality.

It is hard for me to give you great advice on this because I don’t know enough of your situation and desires.  Some clients like to find providers they can connect with on some personal level, others just want get laid and get out.  Maybe you are the latter, but I you didn’t say.

From what you’ve said, chances are that if you tell her to just be quiet and have sex, she is not going to take it well.  She wants to connect with you.  Even though it annoys you, you have to respect that.  So the way I see it, you have two simple choices:

Cut it off or learn to like it.

If you really can’t stand her as a person, then you should just end your relationship with her.  Be honest (but not rude): Tell her that while you enjoy her carnal pleasures, you are not interested in anything more and need to move on.  You might get lucky and she’ll offer to just keep it to just sex, but chances are you won’t see her again.

Or you can ask yourself if it really is that bad.  Sometimes to get what you want you have to put up with some things you don’t like.  If the sex really is that good, why not just deal with her chattiness.  Maybe you can set a few ground-rules about contact.  Tell her that you can’t text all the time because you don’t want to get caught.  And maybe schedule shorter sessions so there is only time for the fun stuff.

Honestly, I think your best option is to just move on to another lady who doesn’t cause you this type of confusion.  But then again, great sex is a wonderful thing—and one of the main reasons to do this in the first place.

Good luck.

[Anybody got any better advice for this guy?  Leave it in a comment. But be nice about it.]

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