Contact Etiquette

So, you have decided you want to spend time with a sex worker (SW). Congratulations. Now please, don’t be a dick-head.

There is a right way to make contact with a SW, and there are a bunch of wrong ways. Screw this up, and you’re going to be lonely.

Okay, let me be nicer. There is a right way to talk to a SW, and it is the best way. It is a path that respects her and will lead to your desires being fulfilled. Everyone wins.

The Basics:
Be polite, be honest (mostly), be direct, be discrete, and be concise.

In today’s environment, most initial contact is done through text-messaging, with e-mail and other internet-based communications being the next popular choices. Rarely is first contact ever done with a phone call anymore. But most likely you are going to be texting, and that means keeping it simple, but still being complete.

Begin your text by introducing with some sort of salutation and then briefly introduce yourself:

“Hello Miss XXXXX, my name is ValleyScott. I’m 40ish, white, and look like Santa Claus.”

See how easy that is. It’s polite. It’s direct. It gives her a small bit of information on you that may be helpful to her later (such as during her screening process). I’m not revealing too much information about myself, but I am being honest Nd giving her something to work with.

Next, let her know where you got her contact info. This is very important. Many SW’s have their information out there on a lot of different venues. Telling her which one helps in many ways. It tells her which venue is working best for her. It tells her some things about you (different types of people use different sites), and it helps her in her screening process.

Now it’s time to inquire about availability. If you have a very specific time in mind, be specific. If it’s more of a window of opportunity, let her know that too. If you are just looking to get screened for a possible future encounter (which I highly recommend), let her know. Here’s how it should look:

“I am wondering if you would be available to get together on the 6th at 7pm.”

“I would love to be able to see you sometime on Saturday between noon and 6pm.”

“I am very interested in meeting you in the future and wanted to get screened now.”

Any of these gives a SW the kind of information she needs in order to reply back to you. If you want a specific time and she can’t do it, she can let you know and nobody ends up wasting any time. If she has specific screening criteria, you have now given her the time to do so, or let her know that there isn’t enough time. Either way, this is good communication.

Now, I do not include my references in my initial contact. Too cumbersome. And, if the SW is unavailable during my requested time, those references were unnecessary. I do let her know that I have those references and that I will send them when she asks. Whatever you do, don’t lie about references. Have them ready to go.

Finish your text politely. “Thank you for your time and I look forward to meeting you” is a good way to go.

This is really very simple. And it really makes a lot of difference. Women like to be approached in a polite manner. SWer’s hate having their time wasted. This is the formula that I use and it never leads to a bad response from the ladies. They are never upset by it.


“U Available?”
“What’s up?”
“Wanna fuck?”
“Hey baby.”
“100 for bj”

NONE of these are an acceptable way to approach a woman. Period. Never. I hope I am being clear. This is the formula for pissing women off. So don’t do it. Ever.

Are we clear?

Don’t lie. Ever. Never lie about a reference. Never lie about you age, race, appearance. Never lie about anything. It’s not worth it. Lie’s are just a bad way to go. If you lie in order to get her to agree to meet you, she will eventually find out. And that is just going to ruin things for you.

I won’t get into the debate about race in this post, but seriously, don’t lie about your race in order to get an appointment with a lady who has stated she does not see clients of your race. Regardless of your opinion on the practice of refusing clients of a particular, lying in order to get an appointment is just going to bite you in the ass. It will be a waste of your time once she sees you and refuses to open her door to you. So don’t do it.

Don’t lie about you age. You don’t have to be specific— saying you are “40ish” or “in my 50’s” is perfectly fine, as long as it’s true. She will know and that can backfire on you.

You do not have to tell a SW your life story. No need to share everything about yourself. They do not need to know your last name, or other personal things. But don’t lie about your first name. Use the name you use in life. It is just simpler that way. And you won’t forget it, like you can with a fake name (I made that mistake in the past!).

More Don’ts:
Don’t talk about money when you first make contact. At all. Do your research before hand. Don’t ask.

Don’t talk about “services”. Seriously, that just pisses off the ladies.

Other than asking what city they are in, don’t ask about location. You don’t need to know until you are actually scheduling to meet. In very large, spread out cities, you can ask a general area. Obviously, “New York City” needs to be narrowed down a bit. But beyond the general area, you don’t need specifics until you are actually going to be traveling.
See how NOT complicated this is? It doesn’t take much to do it right. It also doesn’t take much to screw it all up. Don’t be one of these guys who is pissing off the ladies with your bad etiquette. Seriously, you lose when you do that.

“Hello Miss XXXXX. My name is ______, I’m (age), (race), and (1-2 word description). I saw your ad on and find you very interesting. I would love to meet you. Are you available on ???-day at X o’clock? I have references available to send you. Thank you for your time. I look forward to meeting you.”



  1. Valleyscott: I’ve had my eye on a lovely lady for some time. However, as a newbie to CTS, I was unsure (and scared and worried) about making contact with her. After reading this post (and some time has past) I finally made contact following the advice given here. The provider was pleased with my messages to her, and told me that it was in part due to my polite and professional communication (and my cooperation with her screening process) that convinced her to meet with me. Thanks for the advice, and I highly recommend that others do the same when contacting providers.


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